


atrocity

by kgeoi (0pia)



Series: twilight of the gods [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Chess, F/M, Flashbacks, Language of Flowers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Picnics, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, References to Eren/Mikasa & Ymir/Historia, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, War for Paradis Arc (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0pia/pseuds/kgeoi
Summary: Historia can feel the dead watching her. The dead, and the millions - no,billions- who would die by Eren’s hands. By her hands, too, if she stayed silent. The guilty, the innocent, soldiers and children alike; every single life outside of Paradis would be crushed underfoot by the Colossal Titans. It would be nothing less than the total annihilation of the human race.Two gazes weigh the heaviest on her, and she can almost see Frieda and Ymir looking back at her in her moment of judgement.She has already made up her mind.Sequel, but can be read as a standalone. Written pre-135.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Eren Yeager
Series: twilight of the gods [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984468
Comments: 13
Kudos: 106





	atrocity

**Author's Note:**

> Set between the meeting with Kiyomi and before the attack on Liberio, with references to Chapter 130.

It is a lovely day for a funeral. 

Historia watches from a distance as an ornate coffin is lowered into the earth. Nearby, a small crowd of mourners linger and shed tears among themselves. She reckons that the man being laid to rest must have been an important figure in the government, or at least related to someone important, to be buried at the Royal Cemetery in Mitras. Here, only aristocrats and esteemed generals rank among the dead. 

Speaking of which - Historia returns her gaze to the gravestone before her, where she has placed a bouquet of flowers. Commander Erwin’s final resting place is as grand as the man was in life. His grave site is one of the largest in the entire cemetery, rivaled only by the plots dedicated to the royal family. Someone in the Military Police had commissioned a marble statue of Erwin's likeness in the moments before his death, depicting the man astride a horse rearing on its hind legs as he held a sword aloft. Below the statue, the plaque reads:

-

SACRIFICE IS NEVER EASY, OR IT IS NO TRUE SACRIFICE.

-

Fitting words for the late Commander, she thinks. 

“You wanted to meet here?” Eren says, behind her.

Historia nearly jumps an inch in her skin. “Eren! You surprised me!”

When she turns around, Eren is visibly amused by her reaction. “Sorry,” he doesn’t sound nearly apologetic enough. “Only the four escorts?” 

She isn’t surprised he knew about the MPs watching them half-hidden from an inconspicuous distance - Eren's eyes are sharper than most. “I guess they think I’m safe since you’re here now.”

Standing there, Eren looks... well, _good_. Instead of marble, Eren looks like he has been carved into life from bronze. His work on the railway, as well as his duties on the coast, these past months has done wonders for him, with his arms and torso looking even more toned beneath his usual t-shirt. Working all day under the sun has also deepened his tan - Eren's grey eyes are more striking than ever against his darker skin.

She breaks away from his gaze and looks back towards her guards, feeling more than a little irritated. She wants to spend time alone with Eren, after all. "I'm getting really tired of being herded around like cattle, you know."

"I understand. It was like that when they first found out I could turn into a Titan."

Historia can understand the military's concerns. Even with the power of the Attack Titan, Eren had been kidnapped on three separate occasions by Annie, Reiner and Rod Reiss. However, it is grating to have that concern directed at her - tenfold now that everyone knew of her role in continuing the island's survival.

She looks around curiously. "Where are Mikasa and Armin?" The four of them had planned to meet today, on the rare afternoon they all weren't busy with various duties.

Eren shrugs. "Not sure. I told them to meet us here after the meeting."

"They must be running late then," Her eyes fall to the purple-and-white bouquet Eren is gingerly holding in his hands. She recognises jonquils and tulips among other flowers. "Did you bring flowers for the Commander, too?"

"They're for you," Eren says. "A vendor was selling them on the street on my way here."

Historia's face is burning. "I-I see." Is this him being oblivious again, or some kind of overture towards her? Or is she reading too much into it? She realises that Eren is waiting expectantly and accepts the bouquet from him, willing her face to turn back to normal.

"Do you like them?"

"I do," she smiles. "Thank you, Eren."

They fall into a comfortable silence before she speaks again. "What were you meeting in Mitras for, anyway?"

"Nothing important," he answers, dismissive. "The MPs wanted to know when the rail line would be completed already," his tone indicates what little he thought of the MPs demands. "We also escorted some deliveries into the capital."

"Deliveries?"

"Wine, mostly."

Historia grimaces. "I won't be drinking that stuff again any time soon." She thinks back to the time they had gotten drunk together in Trost. The resulting hangover had lasted all of the next day and made it even harder than usual to focus on her paperwork. Not for the first time, she wonders what Eren remembers from their heart-to-heart that night. "Not that I'll be here long enough to try Marleyan wine, even if I wanted to." 

"You'll be returning to the farm again soon?"

"Yes."

"It's for the best."

She bristles at his unexpected response. "Didn't I just tell you that I'm sick of being treated like cattle?" As much as Historia can understand the position of the MPs, she doesn't need Eren to rub it in her face like that.

"It won't be for much longer now," Eren says, trying to comfort her.

"Even with the power of the Beast Titan, I doubt they will give me free rein to go anywhere I want."

He looks away. "You're right, I wasn't thinking."

"... It's fine. The MPs are still giving me permission to travel between the farm and the capital as long as I have an armed escort, at least," she sighs. "This entire situation is difficult." Difficult is one way to put it, at least.

Eren stares up at the marble statue before them. "I wonder what Commander Erwin would do right now..."

Historia also returns her gaze to the statue, feeling thoughtful. The sculptor captured Erwin's profile perfectly, with his aquiline nose and strong jaw. "Knowing the Commander, he probably would bet everything on a risky gamble, and somehow win despite having all the odds stacked against him." She thinks back to their first conversation, the one that had taken place on the battlements above Orvud District. To everyone's surprise, including her own, Erwin had allowed her, the future queen of the Walls, to face what remained of her father. Not that he could have stopped her. Yet despite the risks to her life, Historia had emerged that day as the saviour of Orvud - a title which, as she and Erwin had anticipated, contributed greatly to her support among the people.

"But even when he did have all the odds with him, he didn't win when it mattered most," Eren muses. "Captain Levi still chose Armin's life over the Commander's."

"The report he submitted to the MPs was a little unclear on why he did that," Historia remembers how controversial the decision was when it came to light. Even now, years later, when Erwin's name was brought up by the MPs, it was often accompanied by a scathing look in Levi's direction. "But personally, I think Commander Erwin had already chosen to die, and the Captain was respecting that... maybe he felt like he had no right to interfere with his choice."

Eren's face is dark. "Armin chose to sacrifice himself, too. That doesn't mean he should have, or that I should have let him die."

"I know that. But both Armin and the Commander made that choice of their own free will."

"But neither of them wanted to die - the enemy forced their hand," Eren argues passionately. "That isn't free will. They still had dreams, didn't they?"

Historia isn't so sure they are only talking about Armin and Erwin anymore. "There will always be enemies out there, though. And people will always have dreams. Someone will always have to sacrifice something to keep the futures of others safe, even if that sacrifice is their own life."

Yet, perhaps for some people, sacrificing others was more difficult than sacrificing their own life. She thinks back to the words on Erwin's tombstone. Had Erwin suffered, knowing his decisions sent so many soldiers to an early grave? Was that sacrifice worth it for the sake of victory? Or, in the end, was death a reprieve for him? Had he truly let go of his dreams for the future, whatever they were? So many questions, and Historia would never know their answers.

"I still don't understand the Captain's choice," Eren admits. "I only know that I was helpless to do anything about it."

Levi's report on what took place in Shiganshina also mentioned that Eren was distraught over Armin's near-death. Both he and Mikasa had clashed with Levi over who the Titan serum would be administered to. But unlike Mikasa, Eren had never stopped fighting for Armin's life. For a moment, she wonders what Eren would have done had Levi made a different choice - she doubts Eren could have ever forgiven him. In the end, though, Levi had chosen Armin's life over Erwin's. Or, in his own words, Erwin's death and final rest over Armin's. 

Later, she had heard about a confrontation taking place while she was preparing for the award ceremony. "I heard you had an argument with Floch about what happened back then."

"Yeah."

"Has that been a problem?" The remaining members of the former 104th Training Corps had to work together in close proximity constructing the railway, Floch among them.

"No, I get how he feels," Eren says, surprising her. "But I won't ever agree that Erwin should have lived over Armin."

"I understand completely," she says softly. "Armin is your friend."

"Even knowing what will happen, I don't regret Captain Levi's choice. Not for one second."

Historia watches him closely. "... Knowing what will happen?"

"Of course," Eren says smoothly as he turns back to her. He meets in the eye. "All we know for sure is that we _don't_ know anything. The Survey Corps needs a strong leader right now, and Erwin could have been that leader." 

She knows he is lying. "I suppose you're right," Historia says eventually. She drops the subject for now. "Shall we eat?"

"Sure."

They walk a small distance away from the graves before settling on a spot nearby a grove of trees. Together, they roll out the picnic rug she had packed across the grass under the dappled sunlight.

* * *

“You know, I never did get to play that game of chess with you,” Eren says, a short while later. 

They are now sitting opposite each other with a basket between them. Despite Historia packing enough food for four, Eren has eaten most of it already. In her time apart from the Survey Corps, Historia had forgotten how much food teenage boys could eat, though _teenager_ didn't seem like the right way to describe Eren anymore.

“You remembered, too.” Historia says. She thinks back again to the time after the Survey Corps returned from Shiganshina. Eren had been acting distressed since the award ceremony, avoiding her and the others. Back then, she suspected he had seen something when he kissed her hand. When she finally caught Eren alone days later, she had wanted to give him some solace, as well as get some answers, over a game of chess. However, Eren had fallen asleep before they could play, but not before saying some strange things. 

This time, she doesn’t have to fish through her pack for long before she finds what she is searching for. Historia draws out the chessboard she had brought along with her for the day. “We could play a game now, while we are waiting for Mikasa and Armin?”

“All right.” Eren watches as she sets up the board. “This should be fun.” 

“You think?” she says cheerfully. “Let’s make it more interesting. Whoever wins gets a favour from the loser.”

Eren looks intrigued. “What kind of favour?”

“Anything the winner desires,” Historia says, before she grins. “Or is that asking too much from you?”

Eren’s eyes light up at the challenge. “Not at all,” he leans forward, closer. “But what do you want from me, Historia?”

Historia leans in as well, so close that she can see shades of green in Eren's eyes. “I want you... to tell me everything you’ve been hiding from me.” 

Eren sits back, and the spell is broken. “Fine by me.” The teasing lilt in his voice is gone.

* * *

Eren starts the game as white. He begins by moving his king’s pawn forward two spaces. Historia mirrors his move, and the two pawns meet in the centre of the board, blocking the other’s path. Eren moves his knight, poised to take her pawn. 

“Interesting move,” Historia comments. Aggressive, but she expected no less from Eren. She moves her own knight, ready to counterattack.

Eren only smiles as he enters his bishop into play. “Your move.”

Historia echoes his move again with her own bishop. Eren moves a pawn forward, threatening to take her bishop. 

Historia accepts the gambit, taking the pawn with her bishop. “My first kill,” she teases. 

Eren takes the loss in his stride, sliding his next pawn forward in challenge. Historia doesn’t take the obvious bait, moving her bishop out of danger. 

“It’s strange, isn’t it,” Historia begins, as she waits for his next move. “How the Military Police is glorifying Commander Erwin now that he’s dead. When before, all they could talk about was how many meaningless sacrifices he was making. But without those sacrifices, we wouldn’t even be here right now.” Where would her and Eren be, if the Survey Corps hadn’t fought for them time after time? From what they knew now from Grisha Jaeger's basement and the captured Marleyans, Eren would have been fed to the first loyal Eldian Marley could find. Historia herself would have been spared for the sake of her royal bloodline, to be forced into giving birth as the Marleyan government attempted to bypass the First King’s ideology against war. If they figured out the loophole, Marley could release their own Rumbling, and Paradis would fall to the very walls that had protected them for so long. But would her life truly be much different, whether she was in Paradis or Marley? She returns to the conversation at hand. “... In the end, I think Erwin only did what was best for the sake of everyone on the island.” 

Eren moves a pawn two spaces forward, threatening her pawn. “Do you really think so?”

She doesn’t understand what Eren means by that. “Well, it’s what we should do, isn’t it? What is best for the most people, I mean. Isn’t that the purpose of the Survey Corps?” To dedicate one's heart to humanity meant sacrifice, all for the sake of the people living behind the Walls. She takes his pawn with her own. 

Instead of taking her pawn in revenge, Eren chooses to castle, hiding his king behind a shield of pawns. “Rook to f1.” 

Have I got you on the defensive already, Eren? she wonders, before she notices. "Rook?”

“Rook, castle - It’s what my dad always called it,” Eren explains. “I always wondered why - I guess that's what they call it in Marley.” 

“I see,” she advances her pawn forward again.

“Queen to b3,” Eren announces before continuing. “From that perspective, wouldn’t it be better that we sacrifice everyone on this island for the sake of the world?”

Historia pauses, caught between the chessboard and Eren’s piercing gaze. “... I can’t accept that,” she says, defiant. “Even if it means the least amount of casualties... I won’t sacrifice myself for being born so the people who want us dead can feel better. Queen to f6.”

“Pawn to e5.”

She moves her queen out of immediate danger. “Queen to g6.” 

Eren moves his castle one space to the left. Historia enters her second knight into play before Eren moves his other bishop forward. She moves a pawn forward two spaces, anticipating.

“My first kill,” Eren remarks as he takes the pawn with his queen.

“You were saying?” Historia shoots back as she moves her queen’s castle to the right. From here, she could take out Eren’s queen with her castle. If Eren decided to take her castle with his queen in the next turn, she could retaliate with one of her knights. A worthy sacrifice, if it meant taking Eren’s queen.

He wisely retreats, moving his queen back. She, too, retreats her bishop. Eren moves his second knight, blocking the advance of her lone pawn. He looks her in the eye, unyielding. “You said you won’t sacrifice yourself for being born. But isn’t that what you’re planning to do now? Sacrificing yourself - _and your children_?”

What?

Historia is completely caught off guard. Why was Eren bringing that up now? She collects herself and meets his eyes squarely. “What are the other options?” She moves her other bishop to b7. 

Eren advances his knight forward. “Run. Fight. This Fifty Year Plan isn’t even an option. Even Commander Erwin wouldn’t have gambled the fate of the island on us maybe being advanced in fifty years, that maybe the world will be deterred by a small Rumbling.” 

“Isn’t even a small, controlled Rumbling awful enough? Surely, no one in their right mind would risk a second one.” She moves her queen to f5.

Instead of moving his knight out of the way, Eren moves his bishop and takes her pawn. “It will only further convince them that we are monsters. And they are not wrong,” his voice grows cold. “They will retaliate - for revenge, and to make sure it won't happen again. It’s inevitable.” 

“I…" For a moment, Historia is speechless. "What else can I do? You’re acting like the only way this cycle will end is with the deaths of all Eldians, or the deaths of the rest of the world!” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“Kiyomi Azumabito’s efforts with diplomacy can still work out,” she argues passionately. “You are going to Marley with the others to the Peace Conference, aren’t you? There’s still hope!”

“What if there’s nothing?” Eren counters. “What if there is no hope? And even if there was, would you gamble this island’s future on hope? Are you truly okay with sacrificing your life? And the lives of your children?”

Historia can feel the tears brimming in her eyes. “But, Eren…What else am I supposed to do?” How can one family be worth more than the entire world?

Eren is silent. Realising the threat to her queen, she retreats it to h5.

“... Knight to f6,” Eren announces. “Check.” 

Historia swiftly disposes of his knight with a pawn, protecting her king and queen at the same time. She stares at the board intently. What did Eren gain from sacrificing his knight so brazenly? Was he also distracted by the weight of their conversation? Historia looks back at him. “I’m choosing this, just like the soldiers who followed Commander Erwin did. Just like he did in the end. I won’t do any less.” 

“Pawn to f6,” he takes revenge on her pawn with one of his own. “... So this is what you really want?” 

She moves her castle to the left, preparing a path to Eren's king. “... Yes.” 

Eren stares at her a moment longer before returning his attention to the board. He moves his previously untouched castle to d1, bringing his castles together.

Historia is relieved the conversation is over. However, she can’t help but feel dissatisfied with the outcome. She returns her full attention to the board, wondering what Eren hoped to achieve with his last move. “Did you forget about my queen already?” she taunts as she takes his other knight. “Queen to f3.” Her queen is now dangerously close to Eren’s king. 

Instead of addressing her queen, Eren sweeps his castle across the board, taking out one of her knights. “Rook to e7. Check.” 

Historia frowns. Eren’s castle is now right in front of her king. Yet, she isn’t undefended. “Knight to e7.” She takes out his castle.

Eren hesitates for a moment, his eyes flickering between her and the board. He moves his queen forward, defeating her knight. “...Queen to d7. Check.”

Was Eren just throwing away his pieces now? “King to d7.” Her king takes his queen.

“Bishop to f5. Check.”

Historia retreats her king. “King to e8.”

Eren pursues her king. “Bishop to d7. Check, again.” 

Historia clenches her teeth. Even with most of her pieces remaining, and her queen poised to trap Eren’s king, she couldn’t risk making a move against Eren’s bishop, not without opening her own king to Eren’s remaining castle. Her queen is too far away to help. In the end, she moves her king to the right. She knows she has already lost. True enough, Eren takes out her remaining knight with his other bishop. Her king is now trapped between the two bishops and pawn.

“Checkmate.”

The game is over.

“You win,” Historia says with a sigh. With one finger, she knocks the black king down in surrender. “I really thought I had you there for a minute...”

“You played well,” Eren replies magnanimously. “I spent years playing Armin and my dad, you know. I even played the Captain once.”

“Did you beat them, too?”

Eren shakes his head. “Not even once. But I’ve also gotten a lot better since then.” 

Clearly he is telling the truth. Somehow, Eren had snatched the win from under her nose, despite the fact that most of Historia’s pieces still remained on the board. “I’m still not sure how you won that.”

“If you want to win, you have to make sacrifices,” he picks up his discarded queen in his hand. “Sometimes, even things that might seem unthinkable at the time.” 

“That’s what Commander Pixis said too, but…” She doubted even Pixis would have played the same seemingly reckless way Eren did. It was like Eren could see all of her moves in advance. 

“You could have protected your king better, too,” Eren adds.

Historia is a bit of a sore loser. “I get it,” she grumbles. Maybe if she hadn’t been distracted by their conversation, she would have been able to see through Eren’s tactics. Perhaps not, though - between the two of them, Eren was the more experienced player. 

“You said if I won, I would get a favour,” Eren says, smug.

That she did. Historia can feel the heat from earlier returning to her cheeks. “Well, Eren. What do you want from me?” She might have lost her opportunity to get some answers, but something about the expression on Eren's face makes her think that the loss might not be all bad.

“What I want…” Eren eyes her for a moment before he leans in again slowly. Historia’s heart stutters in anticipation. 

“... is this.” Eren reaches past her, snatching the one remaining apple from her picnic basket. 

“... That’s all?” Historia can't help but feel sorely disappointed.

“You were expecting something else?”

Historia sighs again, feeling rather put-upon. “I never know what to expect with you.” She tells herself that her disappointment is solely over losing her chance to get Eren to spill his secrets.

Eren smirks as he takes a bite of the fruit.

Then again, Eren has kept his secrets close to his chest for all this time. Even if she had won the game, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t lie to her, too. It is a sobering thought. 

Regardless, Historia’s competitive spark lingers. “I’ll win next time,” she vows. 

“I thought this was supposed to be a friendly match?”

* * *

_"That's wrong! It's not like everyone outside the island is our enemy! Most of them are like your mother! They would just be people killed all of a sudden one day... with no idea why it's happening!"_

_"I know. But... the only way to put a final end to the cycle of revenge born from hate... is to remove that history of hate from this world and bury it in the ground, civilisation and all. They want you to give birth to a child whose only purpose in life is to become a sacrifice for this island. They want to keep forcing parent and child to eat one another. I won't let them."_

_":... I... Eren… If I don’t do everything in my power to stop you…I’d never be able to hold my head high again in my life.”_

_“If it’s too much for you to bear, I’ll manipulate your memories with the Founding Titan’s power. If you can just stay quiet until then…”_

_“How could I ever…!!”_

_“You can. Because you’re the girl who saved me that day. You’re the worst girl in the world.”_

* * *

Historia can feel the dead watching her. The dead, and the millions - no, _billions_ \- who would die by Eren’s hands. By her hands, too, if she stayed silent. The guilty, the innocent, soldiers and children alike; every single life outside of Paradis would be crushed underfoot by the Colossal Titans. It would be nothing less than the total annihilation of the human race. 

Two gazes weigh the heaviest on her, and she can almost see Frieda and Ymir looking back at her in her moment of judgement. For a second, it is as if she is carrying the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. 

* * *

_“The sky, Historia,” she remembers Frieda telling her as a child. “The god didn’t hold up the weight of the world, he held up the sky.”_

_“Oh,” Historia looks up from the book they are reading together. It is a sunny day on the farm. The last time she felt this content was when Frieda last visited her, months ago. “Why did he do that?”_

_“It was his punishment,” Frieda explains. “He fought on the wrong side of a war, and thus he was sentenced to carry the sky until someone else chose to take the burden from him.”_

_Historia is eager for Frieda to continue the story. “The hero helped him, right?”_

_Frieda nods. “That’s right. The hero wanted to take the golden apples from a garden guarded by a great dragon. So, he asked the god to fetch them for him, and in return the hero would hold up the sky while he waited for the god to return._

_“When the god returned with the apples, he tried to trick the hero into accepting his burden for all eternity. However, the hero tricked him back, by pretending to agree if only the god would give him one last moment of rest. The god agreed to take the heavens upon his shoulders for but a few minutes, but that was all the time the hero needed to take the apples and run.”_

_Even though it is midday, Historia feels a little sleepy, lulled by the soothing sound of Frieda’s voice. “How sad...” she mumbles to herself._

_Above her, Frieda’s smile begins to fade. “You feel sorry for him, Historia?”_

_Historia is confused by her sister's reaction. “Shouldn't I?” To be trapped for all eternity, with the weight of the heavens pressing down on one's shoulders, was there a worse fate?_

_“What do you think Krista would do?”_

_“Wouldn’t Krista feel sorry for him, too?” Historia says, after thinking for a moment. That's how a good girl would think, right?_

_Frieda is patient, though there is something a little off about her smile. “What I meant was… Krista would have accepted her punishment. She would never have tried to escape her burden by tricking someone.”_

_“Oh...”_

* * *

Is this what Frieda would have wanted for her? Historia wonders, back in the present. For her to carry on the atrocities of their family? If it was for the sake of peace in the world, maybe. Or perhaps Frieda would have supported the deaths of all Eldians for the sake of avoiding war at all costs. Where did Frieda begin and the ideology of the First King end?

No matter what, Frieda would have never supported Eren's plans. She would have never been complicit in the murder of countless innocent children. That much Historia knew for sure. Frieda had always treated all of the children on the farm kindly, even the ones who had tormented Historia. Not that Historia had ever told her about it. 

Across the grassy fields, the lights from the farm buildings have finally gone out. The children are sleeping, unaware that the fate of the world possibly balanced on the choice Historia would make tonight. 

Frieda would want her to choose a false peace, even at the expense of her own life, and possibly everyone else she cared for. That is what Krista would have done, she thinks bitterly. 

Eren would want her to choose freedom, even if it meant the destruction of the rest of the world. To truly become humanity's enemy and turn her back on everyone else, even the friends who would inevitably side against them. 

Everyone else would want her to gamble on the Fifty Year Plan. Or rather, they would gamble on her sacrifice to protect themselves and the island's future. After all, what is one family to the lives of the entire world? 

And then there was Ymir. The one who had told her to live her life with pride. But what pride could she have as breeding stock? And not only as breeding stock, but someone who doomed their children to the same fate. What would Ymir do, if she was Historia? Once, they were going to abandon everything to live only for themselves. And yet, Ymir's final act was to abandon Historia to save Reiner's life, at the expense of her own. Would Ymir have been selfless enough to sacrifice herself? To sacrifice her own children? 

_“What do YOU want to do?”_

She has already made up her mind.

* * *

“I won’t stop you, Eren.” 

It is midnight and darkness has fallen over the countryside of Wall Sheena. Eren had left her alone with her thoughts after telling her what he planned to do. Now, hours later, she has returned to his side. On the farm, countless stars were normally strewn across the night sky. But tonight, storm clouds obscure the light of the moon and stars. In the darkness, Eren’s lamp is the only light. She feels drawn to him, like a moth to flame. 

“If it was just my life, maybe I could do it,” Historia says, faltering. She looks away and takes a deep breath before she steels her resolve. “But… I don’t want to die. And I don’t want my children to die, either. It's as simple as that.”

Eren waits for her to finish. His eyes are unfathomable. 

“I don’t want you to take away my memories,” she continues. Above her, the empty sky is a looming abyss. Yet Historia knows that somewhere, among the hidden constellations, Frieda and Ymir are still watching her silently. "I’ll have to live with this, somehow.”

Just like you, Eren.

“... Thank you.” He reaches out to her, before hesitating. 

She grasps his hand before he can withdraw. Eren stares down at her hand and hesitates again before finally reciprocating. Even in the cold air of the starless night, his skin feels warm and gentle against her own. 

“You’re not alone," Historia says. "I’m your ally, remember?”

**Author's Note:**

> ~~*tries to be as vague as possible to avoid figuring out the timeline of the final arc*~~
> 
> Some notes for this chapter: 
> 
> Erwin’s grave inscription is from GRRM’s _A Song of Ice and Fire._
> 
> Meanings behind the bouquet:
> 
> **Purple hyacinth** \- Sorrow, please forgive me. One meaning attributed to hyacinth is ‘you love me and give me death’  
>  **Jonquil** \- Desire, respect, emotional support, returned affection, or a desire for returned affection. (It’s also one of the birth month flowers for Eren!)  
>  **Purple tulip** \- Nobility/royalty, rebirth, spring.
> 
> Finally, Historia and Eren's chess match is based on the Evergreen Game between Anderssen and Dufresne (1852). 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Next chapter should be up soon-ish.


End file.
